Big Toes Cause Anxiety

In a shocking new development, scientists have discovered that big toes are the root cause of anxiety in millions of people around the world. Yes, you heard that right, your big toe is the reason you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.

According to the researchers, the size of your big toe is directly proportional to the amount of anxiety you experience. The larger the toe, the greater the anxiety. It seems that people with small toes are the lucky ones, as they live a care-free life without any worries.

But why are big toes causing so much trouble? The researchers explain that it’s a combination of factors including the weight of the toe, the way it looks, and the fact that it’s always on show. Apparently, people with big toes are more likely to trip over themselves, stub their toe, and generally feel self-conscious about the appearance of their feet.

The good news is that there are several methods to reduce the anxiety caused by big toes, ranging from wearing socks to painting your nails a bright color. However, the best solution is to have your big toe amputated altogether. Yes, you read that right, getting rid of your big toe is the ultimate cure for anxiety.